I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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