he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
