We're like a lot better than the average bears
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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