OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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