So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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