Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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