is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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