Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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