you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize