No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
