It's Friday. Sex?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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