Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
