I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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