now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
