road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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