they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
