We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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