I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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