Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
