I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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