like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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