i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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