HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
