Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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