She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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