You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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