his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
