Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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