It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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