There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
