it hurts more in the daytime
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
