Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
