just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
