Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
