I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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