So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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