So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
