she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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