It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
