I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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