I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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