I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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