We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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