Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
