Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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