maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
