the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
