guys are not supposed to queef...right?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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