Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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