Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
