Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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