Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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