What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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