I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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