i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
