he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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