Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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