She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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