i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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