Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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