She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
