Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
