Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
