She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just high enough for therapy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize