Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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