I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I cockslap morals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
