Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
